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My own inner compass had clearly let me down, so I couldn't rely on that. Everything I read on Mussar spoke directly to my soul's longing for practical yet deeply transformative guidance.
That's not such an uncommon occurrence in the tenuous project-by-project world of independent film, but my problems were actually not the typical ones that plague that insecure industry.
What ultimately backfired on me were choices and decisions I myself had made.
I hadn't been nearly as honest as I should have been or as I saw myself to be.
Identity is not the main feature of our inner being, despite the ego's insistent and noisy protests to the contrary.
The ego claims to be king, but I liken its true role to that of valet. With only limited exceptions, everything that exists in our inner world is an aspect of soul, including personality, emotions, talents, desires, conscience, wisdom, and so on.
In Mussar I found a path of personal practice laid out and expressed in Jewish terms.